Earlier this week, the government of Cláudio Coutinho signed an agreement with the 'state' of Neean, a Chinese zone of anarchy which burst unholy forth from the death throes of the Chinese Empire. This paper expressed, at the time, it's skepticism that such a treaty would hold. Who can say if these Chinese peasants, who by all accounts are incapable of reading, have the authority over their fellows to enforce any treaty at all - and that is supposing that this is not another Treaty of Luanda, which the asiatic deceivers felt free to betray the moment they decided that selling themselves to the perfidious Japanese was preferable to living up to their treaty obligations.
Regardless, this has already been covered in past issues - see last weeks if your subscription to or attention on this illustrious paper somehow lapsed. New revelations, however, cast even further doubt on the government's anemic response to the pirate crisis. Many will recall that reports from mariners preyed upon by the Chinese that their ships seemed oddly advanced; steam-engine equipped cruisers, rather than the traditional junks of the orient. Some will also recall the brief confusion at the docks which, for about a week following the signing of the so-called treaty, caused a great deal of rumor to spill forth in regards to the operations and motivations of the naval secretariat.
An exclusive source, speaking on a condition of anonymity, has revealed to this paper the answers to both of these disturbing mysteries. As was speculated by men of foresight at the time, the ships were indeed not of Chinese make, as was discovered when one, the 'Penhelm', was, due to a miscommunication, handed over to Portuguese customs after treaty negotiations. Apparently, the Neeanese government demanded a ship of Portugal, but somehow communicated to their men to give one to Portugal instead, due to some error in transcribing or reading the nonsensical characters with which the Chinese language is written.
Close inspection by our brave customs officers revealed the ship to be the product of a specific shipyard - that of Copenhagen! Indeed, not only was this military ship built in Copenhagen, but study of it's ships logs, markings and published information on the Danish navy suggest that before turning pirate it had been a commissioned ship of the Danish fleet. The Danes, serial warmongers, were noted in this paper and others to have been bombarding the Chinese coast some years past, and selling ships to the heathen Japanese, who no doubt will use them to continue their policy of martyring any Christian they can lay their hands upon. However, until this revelation, it was not known that they had dealt with and supported pirates.
The government is expected to release a statement on Danish involvement later today, and forward it to the British foreign ministry, whose merchant ships were targeted and who is, allegedly, our treaty ally and friend. This is, needless to say, not nearly enough - the Danes deserved nothing short of a declaration of war. Alas, our government is run by compromisers and cowards, and a strongly worded letter is likely to be all we can expect. Doubtless, there is more to this story than we have yet to discover. Perhaps the Japanese or Danes are using this Neean as a proxy with which to harass the civilized peoples of western Europe. Or, perhaps, this is yet another plot by the Dutch, long friends of the Danes and allies in perfidy and conquest. Whatever the case, this paper will not stop in it's pursuit of truth, which so rarely is as the government claims it.
